CHOPSTICKS ARE AMAZEBALLS
Do you suck at holding chopsticks and don’t see a point to why this utensil should ever exist and why it’s existed for so long? So why wasn’t Darwin right with his natural selection and why are chopsticks still so prevalently used?
Because they’re great for many other uses! Besides using them to play pick-up sticks of course – did I just reveal my age…?
ONE. YOU CAN’T EAT SLIPPERY SOUP NOODLES (PHO) WITHOUT CHOPSTICKS!
Oodles and oodles of noodles! You can can probably get away with using a fork for ramen because the noodles are firmer, but you can’t use a fork if you’re eating pho or rice noodles because the noodles are much softer and a fork would break the noodles, splatter the hot soup everywhere, and the noodles would end up everywhere except in your mouth.
TWO. PICK POCKETING (DON’T TRY THIS AT HOME OR OUTSIDE)
This is an actual problem in China where there are specialized chopstick pickpocketing gangs. All you need is an extra long pair of chopsticks. True story.
THREE. KILL A CRAB QUICKLY.
The girl in the video is a bit rusty, but you if aim carefully and carry this out swiftly, the crab will be dead in seconds because one of the nerve centres are in there.
FOUR. DRYER LINT CLEANER.
Don’t have a dryer in Hong Kong, but I cleaned the dryer’s lint screen using chopsticks all the time in Canada – just be careful that you don’t drop the sticks in there or you’ll be playing pick up sticks.
FIVE. PREVENT YOUR SAUCES AND SOUPS FROM SIMMERING OVER.
Put a pair of chopsticks on the pot before you put on the lid on to prevent your simmering sauces and soups from boiling over. Tadah.
SIX. EAT CHIPS AND NOT GET YOUR HANDS GREASY.
Now you can have your chips and eat it too. No more greasy hands so you can type away or change the channel without making other things greasy!
What other things do you use your chopsticks for?